I Am...

I Am….

I have skin as dark as chocolate.

My cheeks are full and round.

My lips are plump and thick,

My hair is like wool but it’s my glory and my crown.

My eyes don’t possess the colors of blue, and neither are they gray.

Dark brown is a color of beauty that my skin, my hair, and my eyes display.

I’m usually in my own world and I desire quality over quantity.

I love people who ‘are’ and not the ones who simply ‘wanna be.’

So what, I drive with 2 feet and I write with my left hand.

Give up on me and tell me I can’t, and I’ll show you that I can!

Life has taken a toll on me but it’s introduced me to the bold in me.

After I go through pain, I usually come out more beautifully.

Only God knows how my future will turnout,

But I know when I have faith in him; it takes away all my doubts.

So I’ll keep my thick thighs, my brown eyes.

I’ll keep my plump lips, my full hips.

I can live with my nappy hair without a care.

It’s all simply part of me and what makes me (me)…. ASHLEE!!!

You Know You're Natural When...

YOU KNOW YOU'RE NATURAL WHEN....

You are constantly reading the ingredients on the back of products before you buy them...

You have picks sitting around the house instead of combs...

You wear big earrings with the makeup to match...

You stay on youtube looking for new tips...

You join every natural hair group there is to possibly join on facebook...

YOU KNOW YOU'RE NATURAL WHEN....

Your grandma or mom says she wants to strap you down and grab the hot comb...

You can get up jump in the shower, wash your hair, and go...(when it's short)

You can put the smallest amount of gel on your hair and it start to curl up...

You go in Walmart and go straight to the hair products and forget everything else you needed...

You surf the web looking at the expensive products (ie, Miss Jessie, Carol's Daughter etc.) then say it's too much $$$...

You go out in public and people want to touch your hair to see how it feel...

You have more conditioner than you do shampoo...

You make your own hair products using stuff straight out the kitchen...

Ashlee... The Updated Version

WHEN LIFE EXPERIENCES TEACH, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO LEARN...

LIFE WILL KNOCK YOU DOWN, BUT IT'S UP TO YOU IF YOU STAY DOWN OR GET BACK UP....
I'm young but have been through storms and back. I won't say hell and back because I don't plan on going there at all.

Changes have came along in my life from the beginning of my blog til now, just thought I'd give my readers a little update...

Pain was added to my life so people were dropped from my life.....
Everything happens for a reason.

When certain people were dropped from my life, relief was added to my life.....
Everything happens for a reason.

When relief was added to my life, negativity was dropped from my life.....
Everything happens for a reason.

When negativity was dropped from my life, a peace of mind was added to my life.....
Everything happens for a reason.

I have a job where I work with clients who have everyday problems. In the process, I sometimes stop and think about my own life. I now work on me more. I don't care what people think/say about me because I've learned to live for me. One way to know that you're not really living for yourself is always caring about what others think. That's a big No No over this way. You either accept me or don't deal with me. I think my skin is a little tougher and it's okay because I needed to be a little harder... If you don't present yourself like a strong rock, people will treat you like some cheap dirt.

You have 1 life to live so live it for you!!!

So uhmmm I guess this is a newer intro of me....Ashlee....

I miss my bloggin and I'm ready to get back on it =)

Hair and Moisture

Many black women have problems with dry hair and keeping it moisturized. Lack of moisture can cause breakage for all hair types. Since I've been natural, I discovered one good way to keep the hair moist. This is for relaxed and natural hair though....Glycerin mix... I learned about it by watching youtube and had to try it because I think I have the most coarse hair type there is. It worked real good and a couple of my friends love it too. It's basically mixing pure glycerin and water together in a spray bottle to spray on your hair. If you're not familiar with glycerin, it's an absorbent; it absorbs water from the air and basically keeps the hair moist all day. Glycerin is odorless and colorless. If you find glycerin with smell or color then something has been added. Glycerin is pure. Many of the ladies on youtube use vegetable glycerin but I use pure glycerin which works just fine for me. If you have a favorite oil that you like (jojoba, coconut, tea tree, african, carrot, etc), go ahead and add it to the glycerin and water but only do a few drops, you don't want to make it too oily. If you want to look for the glycerin, it will say it's for the skin so it'll be in the skin protectant section of CVS, Rite Aid, or mainly any drug store.

Just A Little 'Lift Up'

We wouldn't be who we are without problems. Problems are problems for a reason. Some are more extreme than others but once the problem is over, we are either changed for the good or for the bad. We should pick up a lesson from it or prepare ourselves to go through it again!!!

I can honestly admit that I'd probably be one of those people to take life for granted if I wouldn't have ever experienced stress and pain in my life. It took that for me to learn, for me to grow. Many times, we would rather just give up and let our problems win but we fail to realize that God knows what he is doing...he knows when to do it, how to do it, and how much to do it.... Our duty is to just trust him because if he puts you in the fire, he sits by the fire and comforts his child. He knows when the flames are too much for us to bear and when he brings you out of that fire, you won't be all ugly and burnt up.... You'll be beautiful and refreshed with a whole new prospective on life!!!

Live, Laugh, Love, Learn, Trust God, and GROW!!!

Strong Black Love

What happened to the strong black love???

I am very curious as to what has happened to the strong black love??? I mean, I'm young but I remember when couples use to actually give a damn about each other. I remember when marriages actually took their vows seriously and when couples really got to know each other before making those vows. No relationship is perfect but now days people let anything and anyone break their bonds.

What happened to the strong black love???

In my opinion, black love is a very beautiful thing. Now we have many black men who won't even take up time with a black woman. They'd rather have themselves a white woman. Not all black women are bitter. Not all black women have bad attitudes. Not all black women are boring in bed. These are just some of the things that black men have against their black women, against their black queens. If you are one of the black men who think of black women this way, also think of some of the reasons she may be that way. Work a little harder, go beneath the surface....If a black woman is bitter, she's more than likely hurting. If she has an attitude, something more is bothering her. So don't be so quick to judge. You could be the change that she needs. A black woman's love is truly unconditional, sometimes you just have to put up with a little more or work a little harder to get to her heart but once you do, you will be truly blessed to have her love and she will love you even more to know you had patience enough to stick around.

What happened to the strong black love???

There use to be couples who handled their problems at home, who fixed whatever was wrong by coming together without the need of everyone else in their business. Now couples let the world know when they are having problems by dissing their mates in the streets. Getting on the internet and writing about their "supposed" to be loved one for everybody to read. That's not love. Calling up everybody else on the phone asking them what to do is not a good idea either. Everybody doesn't have your best interest at heart. Be grown, if it's love then do what you have to do to keep it and stop putting everybody else in your business.

What happened to the strong black love???

You will go through problems and probably through several relationships before you find the right one. Once you find that real one, realize that the world doesn't revolve around just one in the relationship; it takes two. You may have to make compromises and sacrifices but if your mate is really your soul mate, you wouldn't think twice.

If you feel like you have that love... then cherish every moment of it!!!

I just wanted to know.....
What happened to the strong black love???

"Forgiveness"

Ok, anybody that knows me know that I graduated with a major in Behavior Analysis and I work in a field that deals with people and their daily problems. It makes me learn a lot about myself when I have to talk to others about their own problems. Right now, I'm on the subject of "Forgiveness" and it's very interesting so I thought I'd share.... Some of this comes from "The Anger Management Sourcebook" but I'll tell you how I interpreted it.... *** the things that I put quotation marks around are straight out the book.***

To forgive means that we choose to release resentment, hatred, bitterness and desires for revenge for wrongs done to us. It's basically the only way to come to peace with the past. Your peace should be worth more than holding grudges.

Forgiving is a personal choice and when we choose to forgive, it should not be based on whether the offender deserves it or not, nor should it be based on the offender asking for it or feeling sorry about what they did. Forgiving is about the offended person's inner strength rather than the offender's. You shouldn't feel that forgiving a person makes you weaker, instead you should forgive so that you can begin to heal. I think that this example I read is very good: Forgiving is taking the arrows out of our gut rather than twisting them around in us.

We as humans react by the pain caused to us. We think that if we forgive somebody then we are condoning what they did to us.... Forgiving does NOT mean that you are giving up your power.

Just because you choose to forgive someone doesn't mean that you forget. When you forgive, you just release the negative feelings but you do remember what was done because it is a lesson learned. When lessons are learned, it helps us to be cautious in the present and leads to wisdom, experience, empathy, and compassion.

When you forgive somebody, please don't think that it makes the offender think his/her actions didn't hurt. You can still let the hurt be known and release hatred.

People think that without the anger, they will be vulnerable.... Holding on to anger won't make a person strong. "Without the anger and hatred, you will be able to identify with the hurts and heal."

....And no, forgiving someone does NOT make you look weak. Forgiving is actually a strength. To be able to forgive somebody after hurting you is very strong. Two wrongs don't make a right.

I'm going to write this one straight out the book: "If I give up resentment, I'll have to take responsibility for my own happiness. I'll have to change. True." You shouldn't depend fully on others for your happiness anyway.... that is solely your responsibility, others just add to it.

Forgiving does not mean the loss of purpose. Sacrificing revenge frees us to replace it with something more constructive and prosperous.

Don't think that you can make somebody pay for what they did and that will change them. When people acknowledge their wrongs and accept responsibility for their own actions... if they are mature, they will make that needed change on their own.

Forgiving doesn't mean reconciling or trusting. "Trust requires a belief in the other person's character and must be earned over time in order for a relationship to be rebuilt." If you never give that person a chance to earn it then you would never know that they are worthy of it. Some situations doesn't deserve to be rebuilt though. "Forgiveness can still occur without reconciling or trusting.

Some think that certain acts are unforgivable but always remember..."Forgiveness is entirely about the internal state of the offended, not the act itself.".... any act is forgivable, believe it or not!

Dropping a grudge does not mean that you are being disloyal to others... "There are better ways of showing loyalty than by hating."

"Keep in mind that offenders are human, weak, in pain, not in their right mind, and/or ignorant. They are already suffering for this, and life will continue to punish them for their imperfections." Don't try to fix them yourself!

Last but not least... Revenge will NOT restore your peace. "Getting even does not replace what is lost. It only brings the avenger down to the offender's level and makes him or her feel as bad and inhumane."


Ok.... thank you for reading... if you are having problems with forgiving, it may do you well to take this seriously because no matter how much we say that we don't care.... deep down, we really do!!!... If you need any more help with this, feel free to contact me!!!