My Unanswered Questions?

1. Why is it that women tend to think with their hearts more than their brains?
2. Why is it so hard for some men to trust but easier for women to love unconditionally?
   
3. Why is it that when things are going good, something seems to always turn it bad?
4. Why is it that God made me with such a sensitive heart and I can't control it?
5. Why is it such a thin line between love and hate?
6. Why is it that when people are hurting or they are wrong, they look for somebody else to blame or take it out on? Does it make them feel better?
7. Why is it so hard for people to just communicate with you, instead they look for another route? Shouldn't we all realize that communication is the key?
   
8. Why is it that people have to go through things just to learn lessons?
9. How can people get rid of hate that they have inside? (I know this answer, I had to do it)
10. How is it that people can have so much pride that they can never be wrong and that pride holds them back from doing what needs to be done? (pride suppose to be a good thing but some people abuse it)
11. How can a reliable person be left alone when they need someone to rely on?
12. Why do women who have been hurt label all men as 'no good' just because of what was done to them in previous relationships?
13. Why is it hard for people to realize when they have somebody good on their side even when things aren't perfect?
    
14. Why don't people realize what they have until it's gone?
15. Why can't people see that the grass on their side is actually greener than the grass on the other side?
    

This is only half of the unanswered questions I have... give me your honest answers in a comment please! If you can't answer all just try and give me 1 or 2 answers because I've always wondered these things.

Why Complain?

Complaining about a problem is pointless if you're not going to put anything towards changing it. No need to complain if you're willing to let the problem maintain! -Ashlee S. Jones

Everytime I turn around, people are complaining about this and that; how they are so tired. Then why not do something about it?...at least try! I use to complain about my problems all the time and sometimes I still fall into it but we as people, do have a choice. I'm not saying that you have a choice to stop the problem; sometimes you don't but you do have the choice to try and fix the problem/situation.

People are always complaining about the conditions that we are in today but once there is a complaint there is also a finger being pointed at somebody else. The irrelevant time spent pointing fingers at others and trying to find somebody to blame, could be the productive time spent on fixing yourself and your own problems. We live in a egotistical world where people are only concerned about themselves so you can't just sit back and wait for somebody else to fix your problems... you WILL be waiting forever!

I just don't understand the point in complaining if you're just going to sit on your butt and let the problem continue to go on and maybe even worsen. Many problems that people complain about are problems that can be solved with a little will power. I hate to hear people complain about how they are being treated but they stick around and continue to accept the treatment. Obviously a problem is not defined as a problem until it is undergoing construction because if nothing is being done to solve it then it's simply okay (no complaint is needed)!

Guestbook... Let me Know!

Thank you for taking time out to read my blogs... I appreciate it; you all are helping me to come out of my shell =). If you commented on specific blogs of mine (thanks). This guestbook is for you to share your feedback overall (comment just like a regular blog)... Do you think my blogs are meaningful? Is there a topic that you would like me to write on (I'll try)? Basically... how you feel!

Let Miss Ashlee Know!

Natural Hair... Why Not?

Natural Hair... I Love It!

Relaxed hair... I don't have a problem with as long as it's not on my head.... 18yrs was enough for me. I use to love my perms. I have greater love for my natural hair because it is my true hair. I love the texture of natural hair. I like how it waves and curls up. You can't get relaxed hair to honestly do that. I like how it feels and the thickness. I haven't ran a comb all the way through my head in about a year and I don't miss it.
I've had a couple of ladies tell me that they've thought about going natural or they want to go natural but they can't build up the courage to do it. WELL.... ladies, there's nothing to it! I never imagined that I would get my hair chopped off. I was like "oh ima just grow my perm out"... wasn't happening. I had tough roots from a lot of new growth, then I had straight ends. I couldn't really comb through the new growth and it was just too much to handle two different textures.

Soooo...one day I was sitting in the den at home on a Sunday evening and when my boyfriend came over I said, "You know what I want you to do for my birthday?" he was like what's that... and I said "get my hair cut for me." So that Tuesday on my birthday, I went to the shop and got it cut off and twisted up. I don't regret it at all and I don't miss it because that transitioning period before I cut my hair made me dislike my hair.

IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WANT TO DO THE BIG CHOP THEN GO FOR IT! Maybe do it on a special date if that would make it easier for you. With your relaxed ends gone, it will grow faster. If you get negativity with your hair, love yourself anyway... people always trying to find something to talk about.

THE ADVANTAGES OF NATURAL HAIR: Chemical free, No ear burns from flat/curling irons, No painful perm burn, It's convenient (wash & go), You'll love the texture, You won't have to worry about your hair getting wet or sweating out perm and YES ladies, men still will think you are attractive. Some will think you are even more attractive with natural hair. Some women are scared because they feel that they won't get attention from men... trust me, you will. Most men like women who are confident with themselves anyway.

***And yes there are many styles you can do with natural hair. The girls on youtube were a huge inspiration to me...

I'm not trying to persuade anybody to cut their hair or transition to natural. This blog is aimed at the ones who are a little shaky about it but wants to do it. If you have any questions, just ask!

www.youtube.com/asja05

Confidence... build it!

Note: I know the correct grammar but I'm writing these words exactly how I announce them in this specific blog...
This probably will appeal to women more than men...

I want to touch a little bit on confidence because I've had numerous women tell me that they think I'm confident since I cut off my hair. I guess women are surprised because we love hair but men just compliment on it. There was one girl on myspace who use to tell me she thought I was confident all the time before I cut my hair. She said she could tell by my pics. Anyway, confidence doesn't just drop from the sky for everybody, most people have to build it up.

I know I had to build confidence, not because of my hair but in general. I use to have low self-esteem during my teenage years but after a while you get tired of downing yourself and letting others down you. People can sense confidence and if they know that you don't have it, they'll take you for granted. Confidence is needed in anything you do. It can determine your outcomes or even how far you'll get in life. Don't get me wrong, there will be days when you are confident more than others but make the best of it!

Before you can gain confidence you have to love yourself. Self-love is the best love. I don't care how much your man or woman tells you that they love you, it will never make you completely happy until you love you too. The people you see who let others walk all over them and treat them any kind of way, lacks self-love. IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF AND YOU KNOW YOUR WORTH THEN YOU WON'T LET ANYBODY ELSE DECREASE YOUR VALUE!

Nobody can walk in your shoes except you, so you have to walk in them proudly and let everybody know that you think you the sh**. I don't mean be arrogant or stuck up but stand your ground and don't let nobody define how you look at yourself. This makes me think of the 'social looking glass theory' which means you see yourself how you think others see you... Forget how others see you. As long as you are respectful and happy with yourself that's all that matters!

This blog will continue...
I've had a few women telling me that I inspire them to wanna go natural but
they don't know if they can do it so my next blog will hopefully be helpful to you!

I appreciate you readers and if you ever wanna start blogging I will surely follow you too!

Right or Wrong?

Ok... this blog is just a spur of the moment thing... Me and my boyfriend were just walking out the house earlier tonight and heard sirens. I didn't think much of it, but come to find out a dude had been shot and killed. Yep, another brother down in the small counties of Ben Hill/Irwin. Not to mention, Coffee Co.

I guess that's all there is in the country for the younger generation is violence and bandwagons. You would think that all the craziness goes on in the bigger cities but the country towns are just as bad. The population is already low, hell before you know it everybody will disappear if we keep going at the rate we've been going at.

I don't have any biological children to tell anyone how to raise theirs, but please start them off young to know the difference between right and wrong. Better yet, influence them to want right and not wrong. Kids today lack guidance. I know parents who ask their kids for weed and they sit down and smoke together....a big problem and that's not even the worst.

People send their children to school to learn and once 2:45 hits, that's all that kids learn until the next school day. I'm surprised if they even learn there. The school gets paid for what they teach out of text books. But as black people, we'll pay a bigger price if we don't teach children more than what they learn from a text book! We should teach them about their race, give them knowledge of where they come from. Let them know what life may throw at them. Stop LYING to them and let them know what's real out there. I'm sorry but racism is still all the way live (just had to throw that in there). Think about it, the only black people that children really learn about at school are Harriet Tubman or Martin Luther King... and that's only for 1 month. So please teach them.

Teach them about the 'bandwagons' that I mentioned above. Even adults fail to realize that you do not have to fit in with everyone else; then you would lose your uniqueness. I'd rather stand out alone than to blend in and not be noticed. People just follow stupidity now days but I have a low tolerance for stupidity. Just jumping on the bandwagon may lead you to a path where you don't really want to be. I guess that's why I stay to myself a lot. Teach your children to define who they are and not let others mess that up. Even if you don't have children or you're a young adult like me, you can still reach out to help these kids in some kind of way.

People would rather be liked than to be right. Learn to be a leader and not forever a follower!

My Facebook Statuses Continued...

Most of you who read my blogs are probably my friends on facebook as well... you inspired me to start blogging anyway... There is meaning behind my statuses and here I will elaborate some of my favorite ones ...

"Many people desire 'things in life' with a passion but are afraid of how it may turnout or end so they never take the step to making it begin. Guards are good but can sometimes be a hinderance; you may think you're blocking out bad when u are really preventing the good from reaching u..("THE GREATEST BARRIER TO SUCCESS IS ...THE FEAR OF FAILURE" -Eriksson)...this can apply to school, careers, relationships, creations, etc! "

-There are things that I have wanted to do in life but I was afraid of being let down or failing so I wanted to protect myself by doing nothing at all. Doing nothing can be a huge mistake; you can miss out on a lot. If you yearn for something, it's best you go for it because if you don't succeed at first you can always retrace your steps or learn from your mistakes and go for something even better. You have nothing to lose but everything to gain. Most of the time, if you put your heart into what you really want you'll succeed... After all, if nobody else knows your heart... God does.


"If you acknowledge that you have a problem then you should take your steps towards fixing it."

This is something that I have to tell myself quite often. I know my attitude can be bitchy, I'm a procrastinator at times, ... I'm not going to put all my flaws out there, but I'm only human so YES I HAVE ISSUES... The problem comes in when you know that you have a problem or that you're not on the right track but you do nothing to fix it. Just because other people don't notice your problem too much doesn't mean that you should ignore it. Take the steps towards fixing it and you will become much happier with yourself.

The Famous... "Everything Happens for a reason."

Well we all know that this isn't my personal quote but it is something that I try to live by. I hate to live by it at times because even though everything happens for a reason, you rarely know what the reason is at first. At first, whatever you're going through takes over your logical thinking anyway and you could care less what the reason is... you just want to know WHY!... well think back on the things you went through and I bet you know now why it happened... If not, give it time. There's a story behind everything.

I am going to end this blog by elaborating on one of my favorite statuses...(HAPPINESS). People say they live to make money but think about it... money also leads to happiness, when we have enough money to pay off all our bills and still shop, heck yea we're happy! It's a whole other story when you have money out the a** but you're living miserable, me personally, I'd rather be living comfortably and be happy. When people search for a soul mate or get involved in a new relationship, they want it to lead to happiness. When people start a family, they want the family to be happy. When people search for a career, they want to be happy with what they do. When people choose friends, they want to be happy hanging around them and the list goes on...

"If you want true happiness & it seems like it's hard to find, you may have to sit back and reevaluate your life... the people in it, the company you keep (misery loves company), your attitude you carry, your daily routine and your will power... If you find a problem with any of those then you add or subtract until nothing is left but a better you!"

I'm still pursuing complete happiness and not just moments of happiness. Believe me, I don't think I will get it until I finish all this school and get in the career I want to be in. Everybody's wants and expectations are different. As long as you follow your own heart and do what's best for you then you should be just fine. Being as young as I am, I still have people suggesting I do this or that but regardless, I have to do what I want for myself. I can't live up to everybody else expectations because then I would be living my life for them and this life was given to me. I do take advice though, don't get me wrong and by all means, if you have children you have to live for them as well but I'm speaking otherwise. Living for others won't make you happy, you have to stay true to yourself.

Many of us know why we aren't happy but we live in denial or we just hope things will get better. It's ok to put your problems in God's hands but remember he helps those who help themselves. If you know that you have certain people in your life holding you back or giving off negativity towards you, your life will be better if you keep minimal contact with them. I'm not saying just kick people to the curb or forget about them but if they're hurting you more than helping you then you'll never be happy. Yes, it's easier said than done so try talking to that person and if they continue to stay on the same path then you already know what you have to do. If you wake up everyday and do the same daily routine or go to your same miserable job, try something new but please don't quit your job before you find a better one... Ashlee didn't tell you to do that lol. Add hobbies to your day, don't waste your day away. Fellas, take your women out on a date then I'm sure both of you will be happy. (Just a suggestion lol) I'm trying to leave Fitzgerald and add more hobbies to my life because I'm not happy here. Maybe later but not now.
You can't expect to be happy without 'will power' you have to be determined before you start any journey... believe me that's the only way you'll reach your destination.

So think about your life, what can you do to make it better and make yourself happy? I'm still working on my answer too!

All About Ash

I use to do a lot of writing and I think I may get back in the game. I'm a very 'ashleegentic' person if I'm not with loved 1's or my man, I'm usually spending time with myself so my mind drifts a lot and these blogs will help me to manage my sometimes crazy thoughts.

The purpose of my blogs are for me to express myself, let off steam (if needed), motivate myself and inspire others. I don't have it all together but my plan is to make it there.... I'm 23yrs old and yes I am young but I still have a little history to me so don't down me or take my age for a weakness.

My Journey...

I grew up surrounded by boys; the youngest of 3 older brothers. Yes I'm the only girl out the bunch. People tell me I'm spoiled because of that, but I don't see it. Most of my cousins were little nappy headed boys too, not to mention my many uncles. So as you can see, I've had a few backstage passes to learn about men a little better than the average girl. I've never been a girly girl (I can still wear my heels, makeup & dress up when I want to). I may have my girlfriends but I've always had my homeboys too. I've never ran with too many girls at once b/c I'm the type to get easily aggravated and females can get a little hectic at times. Although, once I'm a friend, I'm usually a lifelong friend. Oh yea my uncle Turk gave me the nickname Messy Marvin when I was a baby and it has been my family name since.

Uhmm. I grew up in a small trailer on the east side of Fitzgerald,GA but it didn't seem too small to me then. I was always outside trying to hang with the boys and got dragged by my brother Travis all the time. All the neighborhood kids hung together back then. We use to fight and be straight the next day. My parents split up when I was around 8 I think but it was all good. I was a honor roll student throughout most of my grade school life. I hit high school and joined JROTC for my 1st 2yrs, which wasn't really my cup of tea so I left and joined chorus my last 2yrs (much better). I had very few boyfriends in high school and if I had a crush on a dude, I kept a crush for at least 2yrs.... lol I know... pathetic!

I started college in August of 2005. I went in with an undeclared major. I thought about sociology but I was more interested in psychology so I ended up majoring in behavior analysis... it was the closest thing to psychology that Savannah State had. In college I learned more about me than I ever knew. I started to figure out what I wanted out of life and what type of people I didn't want in my life and much more. In Sept of my freshman year I found out that I had a blood platelet disorder and at the moment I found out, it was almost too late for me. The hospital in Fitzgerald never found it, I'm glad I was in Savannah. I use to have some low platelets but that doesn't bother me anymore thank God.
I went into college in a relationship that had started when I was in 11th grade and eventually led me to self-destruction. The 1st two years were good but soon as the 3rd year hit good that dude wanted to start acting a ass and his whole persona started switching up. I was in denial at first so yea I hit the ground but I had to eventually pull myself back together. I couldn't let him change my path. I wasn't even acting like Ashlee anymore. I was acting childish, arguing with other females, constantly trying to prove our relationship to them when he was doing the opposite. I was avoiding my friends b/c I was trying to hide my pain from them. I was putting in way more than I was getting out...so the best thing I could have did for myself was to let that relationship go. That wasn't my 1st heartbreak but it was 1 of my biggest. It's wasn't a regret though, just a lesson learned. Once you go through things and get over them it's best you learn from them. Experience is the best teacher.

I feel like God knows what he is doing with me. ***You have to go through bull to appreciate the good.*** and he definitely opened a better door for me since then.

I've recently started a whole new level to my life. I just graduated from college and I'm trying to go ahead and get my masters and get it over with. If I want to go higher than that later then I will but I think after my masters, I will rest on school for a while. I met lifelong friends while in college and no I didn't pledge, I may try that later but I have to decide if I want to do it or not. I've kept my same few best friends from home that I've been friends with since forever and that's through thick and thin.

The summer before my senior year of college, I met my superman. That's how I see him and I have my reasons. He's different from any that I've met, honestly. I'm young but I'm blessed. Since I've met him I've learned to think outside the box and not just the everyday thinking. He's helped to motivate me with what I want to do with my life. I've always had my head on straight but it feels good to know you have somebody who believes in you. I feel that I've been an inspiration to him as well. I think that's how it should be. Communication & support. He's hella smart and multi-talented so yea I learn something from him just about everyday. He likes to gain wisdom in just about anything and he doesn't mind sharing it. He's Islamic and he thinks differently so yea that's a change for me but not a bad change at all. Like I said, I learn new things and I DON'T EAT PORK ANYMORE (yaay). We're not perfect and I'm not trying to portray us to be but as you can probably tell... he has my heart. Oh yea, he documented my whole college graduation for me and took some nice graduation pictures of me.


Soooo... this isn't my whole life just a segment of me to let my readers maybe learn a little more about me...

Oh yea as the strong black woman that I'm still growing to be (not conceited)... I recently decided that I wanted to do away with perms and embrace my natural hair so on my last birthday, March 9, I did the big chop and cut all the perm out of my hair and I am loving the little hair that I have and I'm sure I'll love the kinkiness even more when it grows out... I'm not going to get into all that, you should catch it in a later blog anyway www.youtube.com/asja05


So now that you know a little about me, maybe you will understand my later blogs a little better.... I hope you get something out of them and if there's a certain thing you need me to write on, just let me know... Your feedback and comments are appreciated!