I use to do a lot of writing and I think I may get back in the game. I'm a very 'ashleegentic' person if I'm not with loved 1's or my man, I'm usually spending time with myself so my mind drifts a lot and these blogs will help me to manage my sometimes crazy thoughts.
The purpose of my blogs are for me to express myself, let off steam (if needed), motivate myself and inspire others. I don't have it all together but my plan is to make it there.... I'm 23yrs old and yes I am young but I still have a little history to me so don't down me or take my age for a weakness.
My Journey...
I grew up surrounded by boys; the youngest of 3 older brothers. Yes I'm the only girl out the bunch. People tell me I'm spoiled because of that, but I don't see it. Most of my cousins were little nappy headed boys too, not to mention my many uncles. So as you can see, I've had a few backstage passes to learn about men a little better than the average girl. I've never been a girly girl (I can still wear my heels, makeup & dress up when I want to). I may have my girlfriends but I've always had my homeboys too. I've never ran with too many girls at once b/c I'm the type to get easily aggravated and females can get a little hectic at times. Although, once I'm a friend, I'm usually a lifelong friend. Oh yea my uncle Turk gave me the nickname Messy Marvin when I was a baby and it has been my family name since.
Uhmm. I grew up in a small trailer on the east side of Fitzgerald,GA but it didn't seem too small to me then. I was always outside trying to hang with the boys and got dragged by my brother Travis all the time. All the neighborhood kids hung together back then. We use to fight and be straight the next day. My parents split up when I was around 8 I think but it was all good. I was a honor roll student throughout most of my grade school life. I hit high school and joined JROTC for my 1st 2yrs, which wasn't really my cup of tea so I left and joined chorus my last 2yrs (much better). I had very few boyfriends in high school and if I had a crush on a dude, I kept a crush for at least 2yrs.... lol I know... pathetic!
I started college in August of 2005. I went in with an undeclared major. I thought about sociology but I was more interested in psychology so I ended up majoring in behavior analysis... it was the closest thing to psychology that Savannah State had. In college I learned more about me than I ever knew. I started to figure out what I wanted out of life and what type of people I didn't want in my life and much more. In Sept of my freshman year I found out that I had a blood platelet disorder and at the moment I found out, it was almost too late for me. The hospital in Fitzgerald never found it, I'm glad I was in Savannah. I use to have some low platelets but that doesn't bother me anymore thank God.
I went into college in a relationship that had started when I was in 11th grade and eventually led me to self-destruction. The 1st two years were good but soon as the 3rd year hit good that dude wanted to start acting a ass and his whole persona started switching up. I was in denial at first so yea I hit the ground but I had to eventually pull myself back together. I couldn't let him change my path. I wasn't even acting like Ashlee anymore. I was acting childish, arguing with other females, constantly trying to prove our relationship to them when he was doing the opposite. I was avoiding my friends b/c I was trying to hide my pain from them. I was putting in way more than I was getting out...so the best thing I could have did for myself was to let that relationship go. That wasn't my 1st heartbreak but it was 1 of my biggest. It's wasn't a regret though, just a lesson learned. Once you go through things and get over them it's best you learn from them. Experience is the best teacher.
I feel like God knows what he is doing with me. ***You have to go through bull to appreciate the good.*** and he definitely opened a better door for me since then.
I've recently started a whole new level to my life. I just graduated from college and I'm trying to go ahead and get my masters and get it over with. If I want to go higher than that later then I will but I think after my masters, I will rest on school for a while. I met lifelong friends while in college and no I didn't pledge, I may try that later but I have to decide if I want to do it or not. I've kept my same few best friends from home that I've been friends with since forever and that's through thick and thin.
The summer before my senior year of college, I met my superman. That's how I see him and I have my reasons. He's different from any that I've met, honestly. I'm young but I'm blessed. Since I've met him I've learned to think outside the box and not just the everyday thinking. He's helped to motivate me with what I want to do with my life. I've always had my head on straight but it feels good to know you have somebody who believes in you. I feel that I've been an inspiration to him as well. I think that's how it should be. Communication & support. He's hella smart and multi-talented so yea I learn something from him just about everyday. He likes to gain wisdom in just about anything and he doesn't mind sharing it. He's Islamic and he thinks differently so yea that's a change for me but not a bad change at all. Like I said, I learn new things and I DON'T EAT PORK ANYMORE (yaay). We're not perfect and I'm not trying to portray us to be but as you can probably tell... he has my heart. Oh yea, he documented my whole college graduation for me and took some nice graduation pictures of me.
Soooo... this isn't my whole life just a segment of me to let my readers maybe learn a little more about me...
Oh yea as the strong black woman that I'm still growing to be (not conceited)... I recently decided that I wanted to do away with perms and embrace my natural hair so on my last birthday, March 9, I did the big chop and cut all the perm out of my hair and I am loving the little hair that I have and I'm sure I'll love the kinkiness even more when it grows out... I'm not going to get into all that, you should catch it in a later blog anyway www.youtube.com/asja05
So now that you know a little about me, maybe you will understand my later blogs a little better.... I hope you get something out of them and if there's a certain thing you need me to write on, just let me know... Your feedback and comments are appreciated!
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