Hair and Moisture

Many black women have problems with dry hair and keeping it moisturized. Lack of moisture can cause breakage for all hair types. Since I've been natural, I discovered one good way to keep the hair moist. This is for relaxed and natural hair though....Glycerin mix... I learned about it by watching youtube and had to try it because I think I have the most coarse hair type there is. It worked real good and a couple of my friends love it too. It's basically mixing pure glycerin and water together in a spray bottle to spray on your hair. If you're not familiar with glycerin, it's an absorbent; it absorbs water from the air and basically keeps the hair moist all day. Glycerin is odorless and colorless. If you find glycerin with smell or color then something has been added. Glycerin is pure. Many of the ladies on youtube use vegetable glycerin but I use pure glycerin which works just fine for me. If you have a favorite oil that you like (jojoba, coconut, tea tree, african, carrot, etc), go ahead and add it to the glycerin and water but only do a few drops, you don't want to make it too oily. If you want to look for the glycerin, it will say it's for the skin so it'll be in the skin protectant section of CVS, Rite Aid, or mainly any drug store.

Just A Little 'Lift Up'

We wouldn't be who we are without problems. Problems are problems for a reason. Some are more extreme than others but once the problem is over, we are either changed for the good or for the bad. We should pick up a lesson from it or prepare ourselves to go through it again!!!

I can honestly admit that I'd probably be one of those people to take life for granted if I wouldn't have ever experienced stress and pain in my life. It took that for me to learn, for me to grow. Many times, we would rather just give up and let our problems win but we fail to realize that God knows what he is doing...he knows when to do it, how to do it, and how much to do it.... Our duty is to just trust him because if he puts you in the fire, he sits by the fire and comforts his child. He knows when the flames are too much for us to bear and when he brings you out of that fire, you won't be all ugly and burnt up.... You'll be beautiful and refreshed with a whole new prospective on life!!!

Live, Laugh, Love, Learn, Trust God, and GROW!!!

Strong Black Love

What happened to the strong black love???

I am very curious as to what has happened to the strong black love??? I mean, I'm young but I remember when couples use to actually give a damn about each other. I remember when marriages actually took their vows seriously and when couples really got to know each other before making those vows. No relationship is perfect but now days people let anything and anyone break their bonds.

What happened to the strong black love???

In my opinion, black love is a very beautiful thing. Now we have many black men who won't even take up time with a black woman. They'd rather have themselves a white woman. Not all black women are bitter. Not all black women have bad attitudes. Not all black women are boring in bed. These are just some of the things that black men have against their black women, against their black queens. If you are one of the black men who think of black women this way, also think of some of the reasons she may be that way. Work a little harder, go beneath the surface....If a black woman is bitter, she's more than likely hurting. If she has an attitude, something more is bothering her. So don't be so quick to judge. You could be the change that she needs. A black woman's love is truly unconditional, sometimes you just have to put up with a little more or work a little harder to get to her heart but once you do, you will be truly blessed to have her love and she will love you even more to know you had patience enough to stick around.

What happened to the strong black love???

There use to be couples who handled their problems at home, who fixed whatever was wrong by coming together without the need of everyone else in their business. Now couples let the world know when they are having problems by dissing their mates in the streets. Getting on the internet and writing about their "supposed" to be loved one for everybody to read. That's not love. Calling up everybody else on the phone asking them what to do is not a good idea either. Everybody doesn't have your best interest at heart. Be grown, if it's love then do what you have to do to keep it and stop putting everybody else in your business.

What happened to the strong black love???

You will go through problems and probably through several relationships before you find the right one. Once you find that real one, realize that the world doesn't revolve around just one in the relationship; it takes two. You may have to make compromises and sacrifices but if your mate is really your soul mate, you wouldn't think twice.

If you feel like you have that love... then cherish every moment of it!!!

I just wanted to know.....
What happened to the strong black love???

"Forgiveness"

Ok, anybody that knows me know that I graduated with a major in Behavior Analysis and I work in a field that deals with people and their daily problems. It makes me learn a lot about myself when I have to talk to others about their own problems. Right now, I'm on the subject of "Forgiveness" and it's very interesting so I thought I'd share.... Some of this comes from "The Anger Management Sourcebook" but I'll tell you how I interpreted it.... *** the things that I put quotation marks around are straight out the book.***

To forgive means that we choose to release resentment, hatred, bitterness and desires for revenge for wrongs done to us. It's basically the only way to come to peace with the past. Your peace should be worth more than holding grudges.

Forgiving is a personal choice and when we choose to forgive, it should not be based on whether the offender deserves it or not, nor should it be based on the offender asking for it or feeling sorry about what they did. Forgiving is about the offended person's inner strength rather than the offender's. You shouldn't feel that forgiving a person makes you weaker, instead you should forgive so that you can begin to heal. I think that this example I read is very good: Forgiving is taking the arrows out of our gut rather than twisting them around in us.

We as humans react by the pain caused to us. We think that if we forgive somebody then we are condoning what they did to us.... Forgiving does NOT mean that you are giving up your power.

Just because you choose to forgive someone doesn't mean that you forget. When you forgive, you just release the negative feelings but you do remember what was done because it is a lesson learned. When lessons are learned, it helps us to be cautious in the present and leads to wisdom, experience, empathy, and compassion.

When you forgive somebody, please don't think that it makes the offender think his/her actions didn't hurt. You can still let the hurt be known and release hatred.

People think that without the anger, they will be vulnerable.... Holding on to anger won't make a person strong. "Without the anger and hatred, you will be able to identify with the hurts and heal."

....And no, forgiving someone does NOT make you look weak. Forgiving is actually a strength. To be able to forgive somebody after hurting you is very strong. Two wrongs don't make a right.

I'm going to write this one straight out the book: "If I give up resentment, I'll have to take responsibility for my own happiness. I'll have to change. True." You shouldn't depend fully on others for your happiness anyway.... that is solely your responsibility, others just add to it.

Forgiving does not mean the loss of purpose. Sacrificing revenge frees us to replace it with something more constructive and prosperous.

Don't think that you can make somebody pay for what they did and that will change them. When people acknowledge their wrongs and accept responsibility for their own actions... if they are mature, they will make that needed change on their own.

Forgiving doesn't mean reconciling or trusting. "Trust requires a belief in the other person's character and must be earned over time in order for a relationship to be rebuilt." If you never give that person a chance to earn it then you would never know that they are worthy of it. Some situations doesn't deserve to be rebuilt though. "Forgiveness can still occur without reconciling or trusting.

Some think that certain acts are unforgivable but always remember..."Forgiveness is entirely about the internal state of the offended, not the act itself.".... any act is forgivable, believe it or not!

Dropping a grudge does not mean that you are being disloyal to others... "There are better ways of showing loyalty than by hating."

"Keep in mind that offenders are human, weak, in pain, not in their right mind, and/or ignorant. They are already suffering for this, and life will continue to punish them for their imperfections." Don't try to fix them yourself!

Last but not least... Revenge will NOT restore your peace. "Getting even does not replace what is lost. It only brings the avenger down to the offender's level and makes him or her feel as bad and inhumane."


Ok.... thank you for reading... if you are having problems with forgiving, it may do you well to take this seriously because no matter how much we say that we don't care.... deep down, we really do!!!... If you need any more help with this, feel free to contact me!!!

Just Be Yourself

OKAY...

We all serve a purpose in this world and most of the time our purposes are unknown to us... most of the time, your purpose is what you love to do... your talent, your specialty!!! We are not all made to be billionaires (would be nice)... We are not all made to be models (nice too) but we are made to be OURSELVES... I just hate to see men who feel like they have to show off their (dirty) money or their rims that are bigger than their cars... I've never loved a man for his materialistic possessions, so showing me your money won't work for me because I can work for my money!!! I just hate to see women who have to show off everything that's supposed to be a secret or chase after other ladies men or beg a man to be with her. Ladies, just be yourself and that right one will come for you. You don't have to go all out.... and yes I hate the type that will tell a man, I don't care if you have a woman, I'll still mess with you.... please get some business about yourself! The same thing with men... it doesn't attract me when I tell you I'm in a relationship and you say that you don't care... it just aggravates the hell out of me and I hate to be aggravated!!! Everybody is not required to have the latest Jordan's or rock polo everyday... be yourself, you don't have to fit in with everybody else then be walking around broke as hell because you spent your money trying to have more than you can afford!!! Basically if you want attention, do something that really matters to get it. Set priorities that lead you to making something out of yourself. The main people that be talking about they got haters everywhere.....NOBODY EVEN KNOWS YOU!!! You just want attention!!! If you have to make people think that you are somebody that you are not then maybe you should reevaluate your level of self-esteem. I'm not going to go out of my way to be somebody that I'm not when it's so much easier to be me.... again I say: No bandwagons for me... I'll always be Ashlee and as long as I'm confident then what I have cannot be taken and I cannot be broken!!!

Realizaton!

Sometimes you just have to let go of all worries and troubles and breathe.... It's not easy but it's more healthy than trying to fix everything at once.... God gave us life but he didn't give us an instruction manual to go along with it so you just have to believe and push forward.

My life, oh my life. I love it but sometimes I let things get the best of me. I'm a worrisome person but I'm working on building stronger faith. As you grow older, you realize that everybody is not going to have your best interest at heart. Some people just want you in their lives, strictly for what you can do for them. Others are truly genuine but sometimes it's hard to distinguish who really cares vs. who could care less.

I'm learning to put a little more focus on "me" because I'm the type to let myself go in order to make sure that others are straight but sometimes I just stop and ask myself.... "Would they do the same for me?"

I can honestly say that I've risen to the point where I only want positivity because anything else is destructive to me. I'm not trying to stay in one spot forever. I believe that I have alot to offer when it comes to love, knowledge, lending a hand, or whatever but I don't want to be taken for granted; I want people in my life who are worthy. I only want people in my life who want me in their lives or I would be setting myself up to be stabbed in the back and let down numerous time. I'm a honest, reliable, and trustworthy friend, girlfriend and family member so I expect others to be the same for me.

I can say that I hate to get weak minded people involved in my life because they find it hard to think for themselves. I mean, you don't have to have it all together because I don't either. A couple of examples would be people who let other people treat them any kind of way because they can't speak up for themselves or people who act one way when they are along with you or by themselves but when they get around others, their whole persona switches up.

I can't stand people who love you when it's convenient for them. I mean if you can love me when everything is all good then you should love me when times are rough and don't think because we may be family that I have to put up with you.... family or not, I never have to put up with you. Another thing is people who only call you when they need something.... if you truly cared, you would call me before you need a ride or some money!!! There comes a point when people get fed up and I guess I'm almost full. No I'm not acting brand new, I'm just opening my eyes to things and releasing the negative energy that has built up because of certain circumstances.

I read an article earlier called "Front Row Seat" ... it was basically explaining that everybody doesn't deserve a front row seat in your life... Some people lean more than they lift you up. Everybody is not going to do right by you but it's up to you to decide if they deserve to sit on the front row in your life.... It's best to love some people from a distance. Now that I think of it, I do have some friends and family members that I love from a distance.

Basically, any companionship, relationship, or friendship that I have with anybody... I expect them to treat me the way they want to be treated. I expect them to put in just as much as I put in. I expect them to be there for me like I'm there for them. Everybody is not going to do that.... we live in such a egotistical world where most are about themselves so I just have to pick out the bad weeds and keep growing my grass without them. I don't like being stressed and I hate being depressed and most of the time, I have control over it but I just go ahead and be helpless instead of doing something about it. It's unhealthy to be stressed and depressed especially when you can point out the reasons for it and work towards fixing it. Stress and depression can really make you ill and maybe even kill you. That's why I'd rather build up an intolerance to unnecessary things than to be tolerant of it.

We all have a choice of who we want around us so choose wisely because you can't change people but you can change who you are around. We all have a choice of how far we will get in life but even if you don't know your direction at first don't just sit there and not do anything atleast set goals for yourself and work on making them happen!

PS: The next time I am stressed, Ima have to look back at this blog and practice what I preach because it's easier said than done and believe me there will be a next time because stress is a common part of life...it doesn't matter who you are!

Natural Celebs

Erykah Badu

Chrisette Michele (Above)

Jill Scott
No this is not Tasha Smith to the (left), it's her twin sister Sidra Smith
Angie Stone (Above)










India Arie

























Tracee Ellis Ross
(Below)













When it comes to black people what is "good hair?" My opinion would be... the hair that grows through your scalp that has not been manipulated by chemicals and that creamy crack!... That's just my opinion... Relaxed hair is also pretty and I use to keep my perms as soon as my hair got a lil nappy. Now I'm in love with my nappy, NATURAL HAIR...-Ms. Forever Nappy






Lauryn Hill (Right)

These are only a few of the natural, black celebrities out there (many more)... They are all beautiful and all unique!