I Am...

I Am….

I have skin as dark as chocolate.

My cheeks are full and round.

My lips are plump and thick,

My hair is like wool but it’s my glory and my crown.

My eyes don’t possess the colors of blue, and neither are they gray.

Dark brown is a color of beauty that my skin, my hair, and my eyes display.

I’m usually in my own world and I desire quality over quantity.

I love people who ‘are’ and not the ones who simply ‘wanna be.’

So what, I drive with 2 feet and I write with my left hand.

Give up on me and tell me I can’t, and I’ll show you that I can!

Life has taken a toll on me but it’s introduced me to the bold in me.

After I go through pain, I usually come out more beautifully.

Only God knows how my future will turnout,

But I know when I have faith in him; it takes away all my doubts.

So I’ll keep my thick thighs, my brown eyes.

I’ll keep my plump lips, my full hips.

I can live with my nappy hair without a care.

It’s all simply part of me and what makes me (me)…. ASHLEE!!!

You Know You're Natural When...

YOU KNOW YOU'RE NATURAL WHEN....

You are constantly reading the ingredients on the back of products before you buy them...

You have picks sitting around the house instead of combs...

You wear big earrings with the makeup to match...

You stay on youtube looking for new tips...

You join every natural hair group there is to possibly join on facebook...

YOU KNOW YOU'RE NATURAL WHEN....

Your grandma or mom says she wants to strap you down and grab the hot comb...

You can get up jump in the shower, wash your hair, and go...(when it's short)

You can put the smallest amount of gel on your hair and it start to curl up...

You go in Walmart and go straight to the hair products and forget everything else you needed...

You surf the web looking at the expensive products (ie, Miss Jessie, Carol's Daughter etc.) then say it's too much $$$...

You go out in public and people want to touch your hair to see how it feel...

You have more conditioner than you do shampoo...

You make your own hair products using stuff straight out the kitchen...

Ashlee... The Updated Version

WHEN LIFE EXPERIENCES TEACH, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO LEARN...

LIFE WILL KNOCK YOU DOWN, BUT IT'S UP TO YOU IF YOU STAY DOWN OR GET BACK UP....
I'm young but have been through storms and back. I won't say hell and back because I don't plan on going there at all.

Changes have came along in my life from the beginning of my blog til now, just thought I'd give my readers a little update...

Pain was added to my life so people were dropped from my life.....
Everything happens for a reason.

When certain people were dropped from my life, relief was added to my life.....
Everything happens for a reason.

When relief was added to my life, negativity was dropped from my life.....
Everything happens for a reason.

When negativity was dropped from my life, a peace of mind was added to my life.....
Everything happens for a reason.

I have a job where I work with clients who have everyday problems. In the process, I sometimes stop and think about my own life. I now work on me more. I don't care what people think/say about me because I've learned to live for me. One way to know that you're not really living for yourself is always caring about what others think. That's a big No No over this way. You either accept me or don't deal with me. I think my skin is a little tougher and it's okay because I needed to be a little harder... If you don't present yourself like a strong rock, people will treat you like some cheap dirt.

You have 1 life to live so live it for you!!!

So uhmmm I guess this is a newer intro of me....Ashlee....

I miss my bloggin and I'm ready to get back on it =)

Hair and Moisture

Many black women have problems with dry hair and keeping it moisturized. Lack of moisture can cause breakage for all hair types. Since I've been natural, I discovered one good way to keep the hair moist. This is for relaxed and natural hair though....Glycerin mix... I learned about it by watching youtube and had to try it because I think I have the most coarse hair type there is. It worked real good and a couple of my friends love it too. It's basically mixing pure glycerin and water together in a spray bottle to spray on your hair. If you're not familiar with glycerin, it's an absorbent; it absorbs water from the air and basically keeps the hair moist all day. Glycerin is odorless and colorless. If you find glycerin with smell or color then something has been added. Glycerin is pure. Many of the ladies on youtube use vegetable glycerin but I use pure glycerin which works just fine for me. If you have a favorite oil that you like (jojoba, coconut, tea tree, african, carrot, etc), go ahead and add it to the glycerin and water but only do a few drops, you don't want to make it too oily. If you want to look for the glycerin, it will say it's for the skin so it'll be in the skin protectant section of CVS, Rite Aid, or mainly any drug store.

Just A Little 'Lift Up'

We wouldn't be who we are without problems. Problems are problems for a reason. Some are more extreme than others but once the problem is over, we are either changed for the good or for the bad. We should pick up a lesson from it or prepare ourselves to go through it again!!!

I can honestly admit that I'd probably be one of those people to take life for granted if I wouldn't have ever experienced stress and pain in my life. It took that for me to learn, for me to grow. Many times, we would rather just give up and let our problems win but we fail to realize that God knows what he is doing...he knows when to do it, how to do it, and how much to do it.... Our duty is to just trust him because if he puts you in the fire, he sits by the fire and comforts his child. He knows when the flames are too much for us to bear and when he brings you out of that fire, you won't be all ugly and burnt up.... You'll be beautiful and refreshed with a whole new prospective on life!!!

Live, Laugh, Love, Learn, Trust God, and GROW!!!

Strong Black Love

What happened to the strong black love???

I am very curious as to what has happened to the strong black love??? I mean, I'm young but I remember when couples use to actually give a damn about each other. I remember when marriages actually took their vows seriously and when couples really got to know each other before making those vows. No relationship is perfect but now days people let anything and anyone break their bonds.

What happened to the strong black love???

In my opinion, black love is a very beautiful thing. Now we have many black men who won't even take up time with a black woman. They'd rather have themselves a white woman. Not all black women are bitter. Not all black women have bad attitudes. Not all black women are boring in bed. These are just some of the things that black men have against their black women, against their black queens. If you are one of the black men who think of black women this way, also think of some of the reasons she may be that way. Work a little harder, go beneath the surface....If a black woman is bitter, she's more than likely hurting. If she has an attitude, something more is bothering her. So don't be so quick to judge. You could be the change that she needs. A black woman's love is truly unconditional, sometimes you just have to put up with a little more or work a little harder to get to her heart but once you do, you will be truly blessed to have her love and she will love you even more to know you had patience enough to stick around.

What happened to the strong black love???

There use to be couples who handled their problems at home, who fixed whatever was wrong by coming together without the need of everyone else in their business. Now couples let the world know when they are having problems by dissing their mates in the streets. Getting on the internet and writing about their "supposed" to be loved one for everybody to read. That's not love. Calling up everybody else on the phone asking them what to do is not a good idea either. Everybody doesn't have your best interest at heart. Be grown, if it's love then do what you have to do to keep it and stop putting everybody else in your business.

What happened to the strong black love???

You will go through problems and probably through several relationships before you find the right one. Once you find that real one, realize that the world doesn't revolve around just one in the relationship; it takes two. You may have to make compromises and sacrifices but if your mate is really your soul mate, you wouldn't think twice.

If you feel like you have that love... then cherish every moment of it!!!

I just wanted to know.....
What happened to the strong black love???

"Forgiveness"

Ok, anybody that knows me know that I graduated with a major in Behavior Analysis and I work in a field that deals with people and their daily problems. It makes me learn a lot about myself when I have to talk to others about their own problems. Right now, I'm on the subject of "Forgiveness" and it's very interesting so I thought I'd share.... Some of this comes from "The Anger Management Sourcebook" but I'll tell you how I interpreted it.... *** the things that I put quotation marks around are straight out the book.***

To forgive means that we choose to release resentment, hatred, bitterness and desires for revenge for wrongs done to us. It's basically the only way to come to peace with the past. Your peace should be worth more than holding grudges.

Forgiving is a personal choice and when we choose to forgive, it should not be based on whether the offender deserves it or not, nor should it be based on the offender asking for it or feeling sorry about what they did. Forgiving is about the offended person's inner strength rather than the offender's. You shouldn't feel that forgiving a person makes you weaker, instead you should forgive so that you can begin to heal. I think that this example I read is very good: Forgiving is taking the arrows out of our gut rather than twisting them around in us.

We as humans react by the pain caused to us. We think that if we forgive somebody then we are condoning what they did to us.... Forgiving does NOT mean that you are giving up your power.

Just because you choose to forgive someone doesn't mean that you forget. When you forgive, you just release the negative feelings but you do remember what was done because it is a lesson learned. When lessons are learned, it helps us to be cautious in the present and leads to wisdom, experience, empathy, and compassion.

When you forgive somebody, please don't think that it makes the offender think his/her actions didn't hurt. You can still let the hurt be known and release hatred.

People think that without the anger, they will be vulnerable.... Holding on to anger won't make a person strong. "Without the anger and hatred, you will be able to identify with the hurts and heal."

....And no, forgiving someone does NOT make you look weak. Forgiving is actually a strength. To be able to forgive somebody after hurting you is very strong. Two wrongs don't make a right.

I'm going to write this one straight out the book: "If I give up resentment, I'll have to take responsibility for my own happiness. I'll have to change. True." You shouldn't depend fully on others for your happiness anyway.... that is solely your responsibility, others just add to it.

Forgiving does not mean the loss of purpose. Sacrificing revenge frees us to replace it with something more constructive and prosperous.

Don't think that you can make somebody pay for what they did and that will change them. When people acknowledge their wrongs and accept responsibility for their own actions... if they are mature, they will make that needed change on their own.

Forgiving doesn't mean reconciling or trusting. "Trust requires a belief in the other person's character and must be earned over time in order for a relationship to be rebuilt." If you never give that person a chance to earn it then you would never know that they are worthy of it. Some situations doesn't deserve to be rebuilt though. "Forgiveness can still occur without reconciling or trusting.

Some think that certain acts are unforgivable but always remember..."Forgiveness is entirely about the internal state of the offended, not the act itself.".... any act is forgivable, believe it or not!

Dropping a grudge does not mean that you are being disloyal to others... "There are better ways of showing loyalty than by hating."

"Keep in mind that offenders are human, weak, in pain, not in their right mind, and/or ignorant. They are already suffering for this, and life will continue to punish them for their imperfections." Don't try to fix them yourself!

Last but not least... Revenge will NOT restore your peace. "Getting even does not replace what is lost. It only brings the avenger down to the offender's level and makes him or her feel as bad and inhumane."


Ok.... thank you for reading... if you are having problems with forgiving, it may do you well to take this seriously because no matter how much we say that we don't care.... deep down, we really do!!!... If you need any more help with this, feel free to contact me!!!

Just Be Yourself

OKAY...

We all serve a purpose in this world and most of the time our purposes are unknown to us... most of the time, your purpose is what you love to do... your talent, your specialty!!! We are not all made to be billionaires (would be nice)... We are not all made to be models (nice too) but we are made to be OURSELVES... I just hate to see men who feel like they have to show off their (dirty) money or their rims that are bigger than their cars... I've never loved a man for his materialistic possessions, so showing me your money won't work for me because I can work for my money!!! I just hate to see women who have to show off everything that's supposed to be a secret or chase after other ladies men or beg a man to be with her. Ladies, just be yourself and that right one will come for you. You don't have to go all out.... and yes I hate the type that will tell a man, I don't care if you have a woman, I'll still mess with you.... please get some business about yourself! The same thing with men... it doesn't attract me when I tell you I'm in a relationship and you say that you don't care... it just aggravates the hell out of me and I hate to be aggravated!!! Everybody is not required to have the latest Jordan's or rock polo everyday... be yourself, you don't have to fit in with everybody else then be walking around broke as hell because you spent your money trying to have more than you can afford!!! Basically if you want attention, do something that really matters to get it. Set priorities that lead you to making something out of yourself. The main people that be talking about they got haters everywhere.....NOBODY EVEN KNOWS YOU!!! You just want attention!!! If you have to make people think that you are somebody that you are not then maybe you should reevaluate your level of self-esteem. I'm not going to go out of my way to be somebody that I'm not when it's so much easier to be me.... again I say: No bandwagons for me... I'll always be Ashlee and as long as I'm confident then what I have cannot be taken and I cannot be broken!!!

Realizaton!

Sometimes you just have to let go of all worries and troubles and breathe.... It's not easy but it's more healthy than trying to fix everything at once.... God gave us life but he didn't give us an instruction manual to go along with it so you just have to believe and push forward.

My life, oh my life. I love it but sometimes I let things get the best of me. I'm a worrisome person but I'm working on building stronger faith. As you grow older, you realize that everybody is not going to have your best interest at heart. Some people just want you in their lives, strictly for what you can do for them. Others are truly genuine but sometimes it's hard to distinguish who really cares vs. who could care less.

I'm learning to put a little more focus on "me" because I'm the type to let myself go in order to make sure that others are straight but sometimes I just stop and ask myself.... "Would they do the same for me?"

I can honestly say that I've risen to the point where I only want positivity because anything else is destructive to me. I'm not trying to stay in one spot forever. I believe that I have alot to offer when it comes to love, knowledge, lending a hand, or whatever but I don't want to be taken for granted; I want people in my life who are worthy. I only want people in my life who want me in their lives or I would be setting myself up to be stabbed in the back and let down numerous time. I'm a honest, reliable, and trustworthy friend, girlfriend and family member so I expect others to be the same for me.

I can say that I hate to get weak minded people involved in my life because they find it hard to think for themselves. I mean, you don't have to have it all together because I don't either. A couple of examples would be people who let other people treat them any kind of way because they can't speak up for themselves or people who act one way when they are along with you or by themselves but when they get around others, their whole persona switches up.

I can't stand people who love you when it's convenient for them. I mean if you can love me when everything is all good then you should love me when times are rough and don't think because we may be family that I have to put up with you.... family or not, I never have to put up with you. Another thing is people who only call you when they need something.... if you truly cared, you would call me before you need a ride or some money!!! There comes a point when people get fed up and I guess I'm almost full. No I'm not acting brand new, I'm just opening my eyes to things and releasing the negative energy that has built up because of certain circumstances.

I read an article earlier called "Front Row Seat" ... it was basically explaining that everybody doesn't deserve a front row seat in your life... Some people lean more than they lift you up. Everybody is not going to do right by you but it's up to you to decide if they deserve to sit on the front row in your life.... It's best to love some people from a distance. Now that I think of it, I do have some friends and family members that I love from a distance.

Basically, any companionship, relationship, or friendship that I have with anybody... I expect them to treat me the way they want to be treated. I expect them to put in just as much as I put in. I expect them to be there for me like I'm there for them. Everybody is not going to do that.... we live in such a egotistical world where most are about themselves so I just have to pick out the bad weeds and keep growing my grass without them. I don't like being stressed and I hate being depressed and most of the time, I have control over it but I just go ahead and be helpless instead of doing something about it. It's unhealthy to be stressed and depressed especially when you can point out the reasons for it and work towards fixing it. Stress and depression can really make you ill and maybe even kill you. That's why I'd rather build up an intolerance to unnecessary things than to be tolerant of it.

We all have a choice of who we want around us so choose wisely because you can't change people but you can change who you are around. We all have a choice of how far we will get in life but even if you don't know your direction at first don't just sit there and not do anything atleast set goals for yourself and work on making them happen!

PS: The next time I am stressed, Ima have to look back at this blog and practice what I preach because it's easier said than done and believe me there will be a next time because stress is a common part of life...it doesn't matter who you are!

Natural Celebs

Erykah Badu

Chrisette Michele (Above)

Jill Scott
No this is not Tasha Smith to the (left), it's her twin sister Sidra Smith
Angie Stone (Above)










India Arie

























Tracee Ellis Ross
(Below)













When it comes to black people what is "good hair?" My opinion would be... the hair that grows through your scalp that has not been manipulated by chemicals and that creamy crack!... That's just my opinion... Relaxed hair is also pretty and I use to keep my perms as soon as my hair got a lil nappy. Now I'm in love with my nappy, NATURAL HAIR...-Ms. Forever Nappy






Lauryn Hill (Right)

These are only a few of the natural, black celebrities out there (many more)... They are all beautiful and all unique!

My Unanswered Questions?

1. Why is it that women tend to think with their hearts more than their brains?
2. Why is it so hard for some men to trust but easier for women to love unconditionally?
   
3. Why is it that when things are going good, something seems to always turn it bad?
4. Why is it that God made me with such a sensitive heart and I can't control it?
5. Why is it such a thin line between love and hate?
6. Why is it that when people are hurting or they are wrong, they look for somebody else to blame or take it out on? Does it make them feel better?
7. Why is it so hard for people to just communicate with you, instead they look for another route? Shouldn't we all realize that communication is the key?
   
8. Why is it that people have to go through things just to learn lessons?
9. How can people get rid of hate that they have inside? (I know this answer, I had to do it)
10. How is it that people can have so much pride that they can never be wrong and that pride holds them back from doing what needs to be done? (pride suppose to be a good thing but some people abuse it)
11. How can a reliable person be left alone when they need someone to rely on?
12. Why do women who have been hurt label all men as 'no good' just because of what was done to them in previous relationships?
13. Why is it hard for people to realize when they have somebody good on their side even when things aren't perfect?
    
14. Why don't people realize what they have until it's gone?
15. Why can't people see that the grass on their side is actually greener than the grass on the other side?
    

This is only half of the unanswered questions I have... give me your honest answers in a comment please! If you can't answer all just try and give me 1 or 2 answers because I've always wondered these things.

Why Complain?

Complaining about a problem is pointless if you're not going to put anything towards changing it. No need to complain if you're willing to let the problem maintain! -Ashlee S. Jones

Everytime I turn around, people are complaining about this and that; how they are so tired. Then why not do something about it?...at least try! I use to complain about my problems all the time and sometimes I still fall into it but we as people, do have a choice. I'm not saying that you have a choice to stop the problem; sometimes you don't but you do have the choice to try and fix the problem/situation.

People are always complaining about the conditions that we are in today but once there is a complaint there is also a finger being pointed at somebody else. The irrelevant time spent pointing fingers at others and trying to find somebody to blame, could be the productive time spent on fixing yourself and your own problems. We live in a egotistical world where people are only concerned about themselves so you can't just sit back and wait for somebody else to fix your problems... you WILL be waiting forever!

I just don't understand the point in complaining if you're just going to sit on your butt and let the problem continue to go on and maybe even worsen. Many problems that people complain about are problems that can be solved with a little will power. I hate to hear people complain about how they are being treated but they stick around and continue to accept the treatment. Obviously a problem is not defined as a problem until it is undergoing construction because if nothing is being done to solve it then it's simply okay (no complaint is needed)!

Guestbook... Let me Know!

Thank you for taking time out to read my blogs... I appreciate it; you all are helping me to come out of my shell =). If you commented on specific blogs of mine (thanks). This guestbook is for you to share your feedback overall (comment just like a regular blog)... Do you think my blogs are meaningful? Is there a topic that you would like me to write on (I'll try)? Basically... how you feel!

Let Miss Ashlee Know!

Natural Hair... Why Not?

Natural Hair... I Love It!

Relaxed hair... I don't have a problem with as long as it's not on my head.... 18yrs was enough for me. I use to love my perms. I have greater love for my natural hair because it is my true hair. I love the texture of natural hair. I like how it waves and curls up. You can't get relaxed hair to honestly do that. I like how it feels and the thickness. I haven't ran a comb all the way through my head in about a year and I don't miss it.
I've had a couple of ladies tell me that they've thought about going natural or they want to go natural but they can't build up the courage to do it. WELL.... ladies, there's nothing to it! I never imagined that I would get my hair chopped off. I was like "oh ima just grow my perm out"... wasn't happening. I had tough roots from a lot of new growth, then I had straight ends. I couldn't really comb through the new growth and it was just too much to handle two different textures.

Soooo...one day I was sitting in the den at home on a Sunday evening and when my boyfriend came over I said, "You know what I want you to do for my birthday?" he was like what's that... and I said "get my hair cut for me." So that Tuesday on my birthday, I went to the shop and got it cut off and twisted up. I don't regret it at all and I don't miss it because that transitioning period before I cut my hair made me dislike my hair.

IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WANT TO DO THE BIG CHOP THEN GO FOR IT! Maybe do it on a special date if that would make it easier for you. With your relaxed ends gone, it will grow faster. If you get negativity with your hair, love yourself anyway... people always trying to find something to talk about.

THE ADVANTAGES OF NATURAL HAIR: Chemical free, No ear burns from flat/curling irons, No painful perm burn, It's convenient (wash & go), You'll love the texture, You won't have to worry about your hair getting wet or sweating out perm and YES ladies, men still will think you are attractive. Some will think you are even more attractive with natural hair. Some women are scared because they feel that they won't get attention from men... trust me, you will. Most men like women who are confident with themselves anyway.

***And yes there are many styles you can do with natural hair. The girls on youtube were a huge inspiration to me...

I'm not trying to persuade anybody to cut their hair or transition to natural. This blog is aimed at the ones who are a little shaky about it but wants to do it. If you have any questions, just ask!

www.youtube.com/asja05

Confidence... build it!

Note: I know the correct grammar but I'm writing these words exactly how I announce them in this specific blog...
This probably will appeal to women more than men...

I want to touch a little bit on confidence because I've had numerous women tell me that they think I'm confident since I cut off my hair. I guess women are surprised because we love hair but men just compliment on it. There was one girl on myspace who use to tell me she thought I was confident all the time before I cut my hair. She said she could tell by my pics. Anyway, confidence doesn't just drop from the sky for everybody, most people have to build it up.

I know I had to build confidence, not because of my hair but in general. I use to have low self-esteem during my teenage years but after a while you get tired of downing yourself and letting others down you. People can sense confidence and if they know that you don't have it, they'll take you for granted. Confidence is needed in anything you do. It can determine your outcomes or even how far you'll get in life. Don't get me wrong, there will be days when you are confident more than others but make the best of it!

Before you can gain confidence you have to love yourself. Self-love is the best love. I don't care how much your man or woman tells you that they love you, it will never make you completely happy until you love you too. The people you see who let others walk all over them and treat them any kind of way, lacks self-love. IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF AND YOU KNOW YOUR WORTH THEN YOU WON'T LET ANYBODY ELSE DECREASE YOUR VALUE!

Nobody can walk in your shoes except you, so you have to walk in them proudly and let everybody know that you think you the sh**. I don't mean be arrogant or stuck up but stand your ground and don't let nobody define how you look at yourself. This makes me think of the 'social looking glass theory' which means you see yourself how you think others see you... Forget how others see you. As long as you are respectful and happy with yourself that's all that matters!

This blog will continue...
I've had a few women telling me that I inspire them to wanna go natural but
they don't know if they can do it so my next blog will hopefully be helpful to you!

I appreciate you readers and if you ever wanna start blogging I will surely follow you too!

Right or Wrong?

Ok... this blog is just a spur of the moment thing... Me and my boyfriend were just walking out the house earlier tonight and heard sirens. I didn't think much of it, but come to find out a dude had been shot and killed. Yep, another brother down in the small counties of Ben Hill/Irwin. Not to mention, Coffee Co.

I guess that's all there is in the country for the younger generation is violence and bandwagons. You would think that all the craziness goes on in the bigger cities but the country towns are just as bad. The population is already low, hell before you know it everybody will disappear if we keep going at the rate we've been going at.

I don't have any biological children to tell anyone how to raise theirs, but please start them off young to know the difference between right and wrong. Better yet, influence them to want right and not wrong. Kids today lack guidance. I know parents who ask their kids for weed and they sit down and smoke together....a big problem and that's not even the worst.

People send their children to school to learn and once 2:45 hits, that's all that kids learn until the next school day. I'm surprised if they even learn there. The school gets paid for what they teach out of text books. But as black people, we'll pay a bigger price if we don't teach children more than what they learn from a text book! We should teach them about their race, give them knowledge of where they come from. Let them know what life may throw at them. Stop LYING to them and let them know what's real out there. I'm sorry but racism is still all the way live (just had to throw that in there). Think about it, the only black people that children really learn about at school are Harriet Tubman or Martin Luther King... and that's only for 1 month. So please teach them.

Teach them about the 'bandwagons' that I mentioned above. Even adults fail to realize that you do not have to fit in with everyone else; then you would lose your uniqueness. I'd rather stand out alone than to blend in and not be noticed. People just follow stupidity now days but I have a low tolerance for stupidity. Just jumping on the bandwagon may lead you to a path where you don't really want to be. I guess that's why I stay to myself a lot. Teach your children to define who they are and not let others mess that up. Even if you don't have children or you're a young adult like me, you can still reach out to help these kids in some kind of way.

People would rather be liked than to be right. Learn to be a leader and not forever a follower!

My Facebook Statuses Continued...

Most of you who read my blogs are probably my friends on facebook as well... you inspired me to start blogging anyway... There is meaning behind my statuses and here I will elaborate some of my favorite ones ...

"Many people desire 'things in life' with a passion but are afraid of how it may turnout or end so they never take the step to making it begin. Guards are good but can sometimes be a hinderance; you may think you're blocking out bad when u are really preventing the good from reaching u..("THE GREATEST BARRIER TO SUCCESS IS ...THE FEAR OF FAILURE" -Eriksson)...this can apply to school, careers, relationships, creations, etc! "

-There are things that I have wanted to do in life but I was afraid of being let down or failing so I wanted to protect myself by doing nothing at all. Doing nothing can be a huge mistake; you can miss out on a lot. If you yearn for something, it's best you go for it because if you don't succeed at first you can always retrace your steps or learn from your mistakes and go for something even better. You have nothing to lose but everything to gain. Most of the time, if you put your heart into what you really want you'll succeed... After all, if nobody else knows your heart... God does.


"If you acknowledge that you have a problem then you should take your steps towards fixing it."

This is something that I have to tell myself quite often. I know my attitude can be bitchy, I'm a procrastinator at times, ... I'm not going to put all my flaws out there, but I'm only human so YES I HAVE ISSUES... The problem comes in when you know that you have a problem or that you're not on the right track but you do nothing to fix it. Just because other people don't notice your problem too much doesn't mean that you should ignore it. Take the steps towards fixing it and you will become much happier with yourself.

The Famous... "Everything Happens for a reason."

Well we all know that this isn't my personal quote but it is something that I try to live by. I hate to live by it at times because even though everything happens for a reason, you rarely know what the reason is at first. At first, whatever you're going through takes over your logical thinking anyway and you could care less what the reason is... you just want to know WHY!... well think back on the things you went through and I bet you know now why it happened... If not, give it time. There's a story behind everything.

I am going to end this blog by elaborating on one of my favorite statuses...(HAPPINESS). People say they live to make money but think about it... money also leads to happiness, when we have enough money to pay off all our bills and still shop, heck yea we're happy! It's a whole other story when you have money out the a** but you're living miserable, me personally, I'd rather be living comfortably and be happy. When people search for a soul mate or get involved in a new relationship, they want it to lead to happiness. When people start a family, they want the family to be happy. When people search for a career, they want to be happy with what they do. When people choose friends, they want to be happy hanging around them and the list goes on...

"If you want true happiness & it seems like it's hard to find, you may have to sit back and reevaluate your life... the people in it, the company you keep (misery loves company), your attitude you carry, your daily routine and your will power... If you find a problem with any of those then you add or subtract until nothing is left but a better you!"

I'm still pursuing complete happiness and not just moments of happiness. Believe me, I don't think I will get it until I finish all this school and get in the career I want to be in. Everybody's wants and expectations are different. As long as you follow your own heart and do what's best for you then you should be just fine. Being as young as I am, I still have people suggesting I do this or that but regardless, I have to do what I want for myself. I can't live up to everybody else expectations because then I would be living my life for them and this life was given to me. I do take advice though, don't get me wrong and by all means, if you have children you have to live for them as well but I'm speaking otherwise. Living for others won't make you happy, you have to stay true to yourself.

Many of us know why we aren't happy but we live in denial or we just hope things will get better. It's ok to put your problems in God's hands but remember he helps those who help themselves. If you know that you have certain people in your life holding you back or giving off negativity towards you, your life will be better if you keep minimal contact with them. I'm not saying just kick people to the curb or forget about them but if they're hurting you more than helping you then you'll never be happy. Yes, it's easier said than done so try talking to that person and if they continue to stay on the same path then you already know what you have to do. If you wake up everyday and do the same daily routine or go to your same miserable job, try something new but please don't quit your job before you find a better one... Ashlee didn't tell you to do that lol. Add hobbies to your day, don't waste your day away. Fellas, take your women out on a date then I'm sure both of you will be happy. (Just a suggestion lol) I'm trying to leave Fitzgerald and add more hobbies to my life because I'm not happy here. Maybe later but not now.
You can't expect to be happy without 'will power' you have to be determined before you start any journey... believe me that's the only way you'll reach your destination.

So think about your life, what can you do to make it better and make yourself happy? I'm still working on my answer too!

All About Ash

I use to do a lot of writing and I think I may get back in the game. I'm a very 'ashleegentic' person if I'm not with loved 1's or my man, I'm usually spending time with myself so my mind drifts a lot and these blogs will help me to manage my sometimes crazy thoughts.

The purpose of my blogs are for me to express myself, let off steam (if needed), motivate myself and inspire others. I don't have it all together but my plan is to make it there.... I'm 23yrs old and yes I am young but I still have a little history to me so don't down me or take my age for a weakness.

My Journey...

I grew up surrounded by boys; the youngest of 3 older brothers. Yes I'm the only girl out the bunch. People tell me I'm spoiled because of that, but I don't see it. Most of my cousins were little nappy headed boys too, not to mention my many uncles. So as you can see, I've had a few backstage passes to learn about men a little better than the average girl. I've never been a girly girl (I can still wear my heels, makeup & dress up when I want to). I may have my girlfriends but I've always had my homeboys too. I've never ran with too many girls at once b/c I'm the type to get easily aggravated and females can get a little hectic at times. Although, once I'm a friend, I'm usually a lifelong friend. Oh yea my uncle Turk gave me the nickname Messy Marvin when I was a baby and it has been my family name since.

Uhmm. I grew up in a small trailer on the east side of Fitzgerald,GA but it didn't seem too small to me then. I was always outside trying to hang with the boys and got dragged by my brother Travis all the time. All the neighborhood kids hung together back then. We use to fight and be straight the next day. My parents split up when I was around 8 I think but it was all good. I was a honor roll student throughout most of my grade school life. I hit high school and joined JROTC for my 1st 2yrs, which wasn't really my cup of tea so I left and joined chorus my last 2yrs (much better). I had very few boyfriends in high school and if I had a crush on a dude, I kept a crush for at least 2yrs.... lol I know... pathetic!

I started college in August of 2005. I went in with an undeclared major. I thought about sociology but I was more interested in psychology so I ended up majoring in behavior analysis... it was the closest thing to psychology that Savannah State had. In college I learned more about me than I ever knew. I started to figure out what I wanted out of life and what type of people I didn't want in my life and much more. In Sept of my freshman year I found out that I had a blood platelet disorder and at the moment I found out, it was almost too late for me. The hospital in Fitzgerald never found it, I'm glad I was in Savannah. I use to have some low platelets but that doesn't bother me anymore thank God.
I went into college in a relationship that had started when I was in 11th grade and eventually led me to self-destruction. The 1st two years were good but soon as the 3rd year hit good that dude wanted to start acting a ass and his whole persona started switching up. I was in denial at first so yea I hit the ground but I had to eventually pull myself back together. I couldn't let him change my path. I wasn't even acting like Ashlee anymore. I was acting childish, arguing with other females, constantly trying to prove our relationship to them when he was doing the opposite. I was avoiding my friends b/c I was trying to hide my pain from them. I was putting in way more than I was getting out...so the best thing I could have did for myself was to let that relationship go. That wasn't my 1st heartbreak but it was 1 of my biggest. It's wasn't a regret though, just a lesson learned. Once you go through things and get over them it's best you learn from them. Experience is the best teacher.

I feel like God knows what he is doing with me. ***You have to go through bull to appreciate the good.*** and he definitely opened a better door for me since then.

I've recently started a whole new level to my life. I just graduated from college and I'm trying to go ahead and get my masters and get it over with. If I want to go higher than that later then I will but I think after my masters, I will rest on school for a while. I met lifelong friends while in college and no I didn't pledge, I may try that later but I have to decide if I want to do it or not. I've kept my same few best friends from home that I've been friends with since forever and that's through thick and thin.

The summer before my senior year of college, I met my superman. That's how I see him and I have my reasons. He's different from any that I've met, honestly. I'm young but I'm blessed. Since I've met him I've learned to think outside the box and not just the everyday thinking. He's helped to motivate me with what I want to do with my life. I've always had my head on straight but it feels good to know you have somebody who believes in you. I feel that I've been an inspiration to him as well. I think that's how it should be. Communication & support. He's hella smart and multi-talented so yea I learn something from him just about everyday. He likes to gain wisdom in just about anything and he doesn't mind sharing it. He's Islamic and he thinks differently so yea that's a change for me but not a bad change at all. Like I said, I learn new things and I DON'T EAT PORK ANYMORE (yaay). We're not perfect and I'm not trying to portray us to be but as you can probably tell... he has my heart. Oh yea, he documented my whole college graduation for me and took some nice graduation pictures of me.


Soooo... this isn't my whole life just a segment of me to let my readers maybe learn a little more about me...

Oh yea as the strong black woman that I'm still growing to be (not conceited)... I recently decided that I wanted to do away with perms and embrace my natural hair so on my last birthday, March 9, I did the big chop and cut all the perm out of my hair and I am loving the little hair that I have and I'm sure I'll love the kinkiness even more when it grows out... I'm not going to get into all that, you should catch it in a later blog anyway www.youtube.com/asja05


So now that you know a little about me, maybe you will understand my later blogs a little better.... I hope you get something out of them and if there's a certain thing you need me to write on, just let me know... Your feedback and comments are appreciated!